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© Bob Armstrong |
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© Bob Armstrong |
To tax, to rule, to take their cut, © Christopher B. Garvey * John Martin of the Moss Landing Marine Laboratories in California: "Give me half a tanker full of iron and I'll give you another ice age."
And other deeds infernal,
The rulers of a people must,
Point to a threat external.
For eons war has been their spook,
Sacrifice justifying,
OK, while they were killing gooks,
And poor folks did the dying.
But thermonuclear armed foes,
Are less attractive bad guys.
If only war they could dispose,
They wouldn't seem such mad
guys.
Their arrogance, to justify,
Some threat needs to be forming.
"I know! C O Two -- in the sky!
Blame that for global warming!"
The theory goes:
Surrounding Earth,
Just like a hothouse glass is
Carbon Dioxide, holding heat,
And dubbed now:
"Greenhouse Gasses".
As C O two escapes from flues,
Increasing concentration,
It holds more of the planet's
warmth,
Like better insulation.
The warmth will melt
Antarctic's cap
Of ice into the oceans,
To flood all coastal cities
Causing horrible commotion.
Each match you burn,
Each step you take,
Each time you fire a neuron,
May cause the very oceans' rising
Up to meet Lake Huron.
O' what a theory this will be!
O' what a tyrant's treasure!
Just think and plan
What can be banned;
What Draconian measures!
The scared cities,
they will demand
To ban unneeded burning;
Then scarcity will bring to hand
Authoritarian yearnings.
For why should yokels drive in
giant
V-8 powered pickups?
Just ban their ass,
and premium gas,
And cows, that breathe and hiccup.
So scientists were mustered to,
To prove:
a heat wave's forming;
And CO2 -- the bugaboo,
That's causing global warming.
They threw vast governmental
sums
To make supporting data.
But when the studies had been
done,
There was no correlator.
But some inventor * showed them
how,
The tropics' desert oceans,
Could bloom and suck up C O two
If given iron potion.
The scientists rose to condemn
His simplistic solution:
"How dare he find an easy way
To obviate pollution!?!"
Then satellites took surface scans
Across all Mother Earth there;
But no clear path
`tween heat and gas
Could satellites unearth there.
"The satellites, they must be
wrong!
Yes! That must be the trouble!"
But all the data else-wise gleaned,
Did burst that wishful bubble.
Then Doctor Sally, up she spoke:
"Look here, right in these tree
rings.
There's fourteen-hundred years of
data,
Correlating three things:
"When solar output increases,
The Earth responds by heating;
And when the Sun goes cooling
off
Earth's temperature's decreasing.
"And C O Two, that bugaboo,
As cause you would be passing,
Earth's thermal state,
Won't correlate -
There is no greenhouse gassing.
"In fact, in twenty-fifty-one
We'll end this warm and nice age;
When solar cooling has begun
To start a brand new ice age."
Just feel, yourselves, when sun
goes down,
How you get cooler quickly,
And when the sun, comes with the
dawn,
How you get hot and stickly.
But Doctor Sally, on the toes,
Of her employ'rs was stepping
Her forthright chants
Endangered grants,
They found that most distressing.
"Now Sally dear, let us not hear
you blame the warming star-ward;
And if you must, our theory bust,
Don't use the name of Harvard."
"For academic freedom's fine
And you can be our honey,
But we cannot allow your speech
To cost us federal money."
"Yes, we get paid to seek the grail
Of greenhouse correlation;
Your facts, the train,
they would derail,
toward global legislation."
"And though it might be tempting
to
Rise up, for to deplore you,
It's probably a better bet
For us to just ignore you."
From Rio still there echo cries
for global legislation,
Which wouldn't pass if folks
knew:
Warmth
just comes from insolation.
And still the press promotes as fact
The hoax of global warming,
In hope to justify the new
world order that is forming.